The Order of the Eastern Star: How Women and Families Participate

When I told my wife I was thinking of petitioning a lodge, her first question was not about secrets or rituals. It was this: so what do I do while you are at meetings? It is a fair question, and one that a lot of families ask. Part of the answer, for many households across America and beyond, is the Order of the Eastern Star.

The Eastern Star is one of the largest fraternal organisations in the world that admits both men and women. It is closely linked to Freemasonry but is a separate body with its own chapters, officers and rituals. If you have ever seen a five pointed star emblem on a car bumper or a necklace, it probably belongs to a member.

§Who can join

Membership rules vary a little by jurisdiction, but generally the Eastern Star is open to two groups.

• Master Masons in good standing.
• Women with a qualifying relationship to a Master Mason, such as wives, widows, daughters, mothers, sisters, granddaughters, nieces and in many places stepdaughters and daughters in law.

In recent years many jurisdictions have relaxed the family requirement, and in some places a woman may join with the sponsorship of members even without a Masonic relative. If you are curious, the best thing is to ask a local chapter. Applicants must be at least 18 and, like Masons, must profess a belief in a Supreme Being.

§A bit of history

The Order was created by Dr Rob Morris, a Kentucky Freemason and poet, around 1850. He wanted a way for the women in Masonic families to share in the moral teachings and fellowship their husbands and fathers enjoyed. The General Grand Chapter was organised in 1876 and still coordinates the Order today. You can read more at easternstar.org.

The ritual draws on five heroines from the Bible: Adah, Ruth, Esther, Martha and Electa. Each represents a virtue, such as fidelity, constancy, loyalty, faith and love, and each is associated with one point of the star. The lessons are moral rather than doctrinal, and members of many faiths take part.

§How a chapter works

A local Eastern Star group is called a chapter. It is led by a Worthy Matron, a woman, and a Worthy Patron, a Master Mason, who work together. Other officers include the Associate Matron and Patron, Secretary, Treasurer, Conductress, and the five star point officers. Chapters meet monthly or twice a month, open and close with ritual, initiate new members, and spend a great deal of time on charity.

When my wife visited a chapter for the first time, she came home surprised. She had expected something stuffy. What she found was a room of women, and a handful of men, laughing over cake, planning a scholarship fundraiser and arguing cheerfully about the date of the Christmas dinner. She joined six months later.

Eastern Star membership starts with a Master Mason in the family. If that could be you, take the free Readiness Quiz to see how ready you are to petition.

§What families get from it

• Shared fellowship: couples who are both active often say it brings them together, with friends and events in common.
• Charity: chapters support scholarships, cancer research, Alzheimer's research and religious training funds, among many local causes.
• Leadership: running a chapter, chairing a committee or serving as Worthy Matron builds real skills.
• Belonging: for widows especially, the chapter can be a lifeline of friendship long after a husband has passed.

§Other ways families take part

The Eastern Star is not the only door. Many lodges host family dinners, summer picnics, ladies' nights and holiday events that need no membership at all. Young people can join DeMolay, Job's Daughters or Rainbow Girls. There are other bodies for women with Masonic relatives, such as the Order of Amaranth and the Daughters of the Nile for Shrine families. What Is an Appendant Body in Freemasonry? gives the full map, and Shriners vs Freemasons explains the Shrine side.

If your partner is worried about how lodge life will fit into your home, the honest conversation matters more than any organisation. Will My Family Be Welcome? and Can You Be a Freemason With a Busy Life? both help with that.

§What about women who want to be Masons?

Some women are not looking for an appendant body. They want to be Freemasons in their own right. Regular mainstream Grand Lodges admit only men, but there are long established women's Grand Lodges and mixed co Masonic orders that initiate women into the full degrees. Can Women Become Freemasons? explains those options honestly.

§Is it right for your family?

There is no pressure either way. Plenty of Masons' wives have no interest in the Eastern Star, and that is completely fine. My advice is simple: once you are a Master Mason, ask around your lodge. Somebody's wife or mother will be a member. Let your partner have coffee with her. If it sparks something, great. If not, you have still shown her that the Masonic world has room for her too.

§What a first chapter visit is like

Most chapters hold open events, such as dinners, fundraisers and installations of officers, that friends and family can attend. That is the easiest way for a woman to get a feel for it without any commitment. She will be greeted warmly, introduced around, and probably handed a plate before she has her coat off. If she decides to apply, a member will usually sponsor her, there will be a short petition and a vote, much like the Masonic process described in What Is the Masonic Ballot?, and then an initiation evening. Dues are modest, often less than a Craft lodge. And like any good lodge, a healthy chapter will never pressure anyone to join or to take on more than she wants. The Masonic Funeral article also shows how chapters and lodges often stand together for families in hard times.

My wife now has more Masonic friends than I do. She has been Worthy Matron. When people ask whether Freemasonry pulled us apart, she just laughs. It did the opposite.